3c0

(Notice I use the word redundancy… versus inefficiency.)

• A cramped creative space
• Lists and lists without deadlines
• Awareness of my own awareness of being a hoarder, and yet perpetuating maximalism and hoarding
• Defining boundaries and telling people how important they are but not clearly communicating them in every single one of my own interactions.
• Not following my vegetarian weekdays and omnivore weekend diet and then falling ill

I left the above list open and hanging, unpublished as I stewed in bed, with whatever illness this is. Is it a cold? A flu? COVID? No idea. I’m returning to this window to babble and then hit publish.

As part of the lecture-performance I went to, we did quite an intimate thing passing our mobile phones around in a circle last Monday (long story) and I suspect that is where/how I might have caught a bug. Somewhere in public, exposed to other people’s hygiene habits. Bah. How dreadful. I could barely raise my head for the last two days. I don’t think I had a fever but felt very dizzy. I haven’t been this sick since last year… I thought I was doing okay building my immunity and strength again. I got that weird stomach bug exactly a month ago, but it wasn’t too bad. It barely lasted a few days.

I was telling a friend that I intuited getting sick. I had this thought just as we finished passing each other’s phones around. I was so excited about the lecture-performance piece that I lost track of whether or not I sprayed my hands with hand sanitizer and if I washed my hands as soon as I got home as I normally do. Then, this. Constantly resetting, helps to train our attention to be mindful and to notice how every single thing is connected. Hands. Phones. Mouth. Eyes. Bacteria. Touch. Taste. We’re so distracted, we have all the technology to be well, to live well and yet, here we are still making ourselves sick.