Repose
The construction site across the street was awfully quiet this morning. It’s quiet and yet they have left a couple of lights in the evenings for two nights in a row (some of them are in the room directly across from my view) and because there are no curtains yet in the rooms they’ve built, the light seeps through the glass windows and into the alley and reaches my room, through the gap between my curtains and just past my bed frame. While, I can still find a way to be in complete darkness (putting the covers fully over my head), it’s very simply, light pollution. I will try to contact someone because I realize it might have been an accident. I took a peek and saw that the light, is, still on and it’s almost mid-day on Monday.
I was finally able to hire someone to help me deep clean the studio last week. For the first time in forever, I got to step out of my house and hand off the responsibility of housekeeping to someone else. It is unfortunately a privilege to rent your own space, but it’s also a privilege to get some help. I’ve been doing my best to do the housekeeping for the last few months, but it has never felt satisfying. Laundry and vacuuming aside, there’s only so much you can do in a day.
There is such unfamiliarity to being a single householder. We keep quiet about it. I feel so sure however, that people are not meant to live alone and be islands on our own. Sure, we can relish the quiet and rest from time to time, but when it comes to having daily human interactions and shared responsibilities, I do feel compelled to seek that out. I don’t know how some people do it. They must also be choosing to dedicate cleaning time in lieu of creative or leisure time. When work and everything piles up, some things get neglected because I personally, choose rest. Sure, I’ll dust, wipe or vacuum every few days, but it’s not the same as a deep and focused cleaning session. So, when I don’t even have time to even do that, the weight of it adds up.
In retrospect, taking a peep at the building across from me, they might be keeping the lights on because of some kind of superstition about the darkness.