3c0

It was a nightmare disguised as a dream: My wedding day. I “arrived” at this stadium, a sports complex only to have someone say “Surprise! It’s your wedding day!” I was swiftly informed that my groom (implied that it was JM) was waiting for me at a secret location, and that in the meantime I could get “ready” and meet the entourage and his friends before I make it to our ceremony.

I did not like the vibes of whatever it was I was stepping into. I was inexplicably already in a wedding dress. In a garment that didn’t feel like me, and when I had mentioned hair and makeup… they were dismissive. They insisted I looked fine. It’s my wedding day, RELAX! But I remembered I looked in the mirror and wasn’t please with the colours on my face. They insisted that all I had to do was show up to the as yet revealed top secret location. My man’ll be there. The dream dragged on. Every person I met along the way, was not a friend. It was not my kind of crowd. There were many faces of people in my past, in bodies that don’t feel familiar. And if it was a friend of the groom’s, they had such a toxic-bro vibe. There was also a great lack of diversity.

My sister made an appearance, and as she has been known to do, gently encouraged me to stay on this wrong path. She wanted me to contineu on with the sham marriage, in spite of my protestations. Even though I was resistant. She insisted. The whole thing felt so incompatible with my dream/desired life.