Know Thyself & Know Your Worth
That was a long one I wrote, but my computer froze and everything’s gone now. I had hoped Write.as would save it. Alas, not the case! I wrote about how getting here took some time. And that consciousness about every step of the way is important so that I don’t fall into the trap of illusion and delusion, and then spiraling and free-falling into a vortex of doom.
I have been grieving about my current work situation. Knowing that I need to let go of a story that I’d been writing about, very quietly, in some ways, shamefully, for the last six years. It clearly isn’t working anymore. I’ve had to shed that. That and the small project that allowed me to cover some costs in the last few months. They both have to go. The smallest project first. They have allowed me to continue surviving in this expensive city and now it’s time to move on, graciously. I knew that I was offering my services for less than what I normally do. All of that was conscious and intentional for the most recent small project.
This is important because we need to be mindful of our “worth”, of what gifts and services we are sharing, and with what intention and/or audience. When it’s unconscious, we run into more issues. As if the world continues to ask us: Do you really know yourself and your worth? Is this what you want? It’s a balancing act to answer the question because it’s not about a delulu sense of self, but a balance of confidence and humility.
You have these gifts, but you are constantly learning. You have these gifts, and you are not above anyone else. Others have their own gifts too and you’re all meant to share your gifts with each other. Unfortunately, in our patriarchal society, it feels like we are meant to be competing instead of sharing. Our first inclination is to compete. In actuality, we are supposed to share. Anyway, I step into the new direction, with the passion I’ve always had and gusto for a new direction and endeavor. I also have to let go of any worry. I can allow it to visit. I’m human and it’s normal to have fears. But, it’s not what it actually here. I acknowledge them (and they don’t really relate to work anyway, the fears belong to the heart matters).
The point is, the Queen of Swords appearing in my readings more than once, this week. It speaks to me. I am being asked to bring her energy forward and into the new project. Perspective. Knowing. Trusting my “I”, my knowing. The wisdom I’ve gained through the years. The discernment. I wield and hold my sword upright, and confidently. This is the way towards my transformation. From caterpillar to butterfly.