Garden Jester, Sister of the Ether
My Love called me while on his daily walk. He is miles away so an unexpected phone call in the middle of my day—what an underrated and sacred gesture. We get to speak daily, but we don’t hug or touch at all. So any point of connecting in the present, in the same moment, brings about waves of gratitude. He is full of life, and I love everything about him. I heard cars tires screech against the asphalt, and he said that there was some sort of getaway car chase/scene happening. Then we spoke about how whenever I’m listening to him over voice notes or a call, I get a taste of the America that is being shown by the media. Chaos is always finding him—but maybe it’s because, we each call upon/welcome that energy? That neither of us are afraid of it?
Anyway, I’m obsessed. I was also speaking to a friend over the weekend, that that’s how you find longevity in partnership. Find someone you can be sustainably obsessed with. Healthily obsessed with? I’m here, and he’s there, but we are fundamentally connected. For the first time in my life, I feel a very calm bond with someone. The connectedness. The magnetism of connection beyond the physical, that it is hard to describe. True and pure connection. Maybe it’s also because in the philosophies, studies, teachings I/we follow, the world and things are less separate—there is more spaciousness and in that spaciousness, love is the guiding force and principle. And if love is the guiding force and principle, you always invite it to the moment. Even when it’s one of those moodier days. Even if you’re jolted by life happening and things are not going as you’d hope, when you leave a little gap for love, there is a lightness and things can be filled with more ease.
Suffering in duality. It seems that part of being human, means that we have to first feel the pain of duality in the physical world. To be in the mud. Even how the body was structured has dualism and disparity/disjointedness. To be feeling your body in the mud. Perhaps we have to be aware of that first, before we can learn to recognize and be aware of the love that unifies, and the joy in all things.