3c0

It’s been an eventful few weeks, yet I feel more grounded and anchored in my body and my purpose. Chaos continues to exist all around as it does, but I’m able to say I am well-rested and that I have been able to meditate at least once a day and find pause. It shouldn’t feel like a luxury or a privilege, but these days, in our capitalist context, I feel so very fortunate I get to share with friends that I am in fact getting a lot of time to rest, and that I can and do take a lot of naps.

Making time for my self-maintenance and creating new routines, have soothed and smoothed the body’s wrinkles and bumps that I felt were stuck in my body. I felt these most last year until early this year, when I was still making very unaligned choices. The steadiness of music and in general, more movement have also been helpful to my daily living. Stretching first thing in the morning and also when I remember to, late at night. Even if I don’t have an exact set thing to do yet. Remembering to reach my arms out to the sky and bend to touch my toes, a couple of times a day feels good. Do you have a daily movement routine for your body? I highly recommend adding it to your calendar if you don’t. Next for me is to actually follow a set of movements and repeat them throughout the day/week. Small steps.

I felt things change when I decided to be present, to take things one step at a time, and not inundate and overwhelm myself. No one was asking me to rush. No one was asking me to exhaust myself. No one, except the voices of old societal expectations, was demanding perfection. But, it’s a pattern I kept returning to and repeating. The need to be on top of every little branch and aspect in my life. The need to be busy. The need to feel appreciated through productivity and my work. The need to feel “safe” and “secure” through material wealth and material gain.

The thing with that is, you do start to lose track of the ground and what’s actually there. And what is here, is the life force within my body. When I begin here, I can appreciate every little thing. From the single breath I inhale and then another, to exhale. That I can adjust my posture to feel my breath come through more freely and release it out into the open. That I can even type at all. When I breathe, I can also feel and quietly listen to life happening all around me. My neighbors moving about in their rooms, opening cabinets and drawers. Today, the construction sounds from across the street are gentler, but perhaps they’ve just taken a break for lunch.

I titled this post Theramin Sorceress, because it’s a card I pulled yesterday. Just before I left for the local music festival to meet up with friends. The card spoke of subtle energies, similar to what I was writing in the previous paragraph. When you find pause, and quiet. You can feel so much. Unlike your thoughts, body sensations are enough sometimes to understand and feel apart of the world. To be human is to be able to feel, and to recognize sensations and learn that we have been conditioned to be too attached to these things. We can learn to notice when my body “needs/wants” to straighten, when I realize I am not feeling good hunched over my keyboard, and that’s all there is to it. When you’re quiet, everything comes more naturally. Even the slightest movements. Can you sense the subtle energies?