Death (Water) — What am I meant to let go of? What of my habits, or what part of my ego, should I allow to die? I sense this has something to do with my materialism and past attachments to ideas, things, life. Especially as I have been moving in such a swift way with my objects and letting go. I intuit that this is the correct path.
Valour (7 of Wands) — The momentum for me to put my all into this transformation and shift is here. What will I do with it? What could prevent me from my ascension or advancement towards my goal? I am being asked to give it all I got and to fight.
Queen of Disks — How do I begin to value myself? Today, I spent $20 on my food for the rest of the week. I made myself a lovely fried rice with my favourite shrimp. Am I remembering to take care of my body in other ways? How will I fulfill and enact my transformations if I don’t take good care and consider my body?
The Fool — Here I am. With so many hopes and dreams. Renewed. Re-energised. I am a Fool. I begin again. I have so much potential for growth. I have so much to learn. I will shed what I must in order to grow through life and be where I need to be. There is hope because I have faith
The Prince— There are no limits. I have the passion. I need to remember to rest and be able to sustain this creative fire to get me through. This is not a limitless energy. It is finite. I must put it into the right moment and the right effort. Trust in my unlimited creative potential. Go for it. There is impatience here so I must seize the moment!
The Princess — What are my next steps? I need to be brave and bold to move all of this forward and enact creative change. There are a few things going on but I can handle them with all this energy as long as I am mindful and not overly carefree. There’s the house maintenance stuff. Current work stuff. Future work stuff and all the other future-building I need to complete.
I have now done a handful of readings for friends in the last weeks and I marvel how natural it has all come about.
There is a demand for intimate self-knowledge and deep knowing.
We are surrounded by dire fires and it’s not too late to thirst and ask for water.
We don’t just need cups, we need buckets.
We need vessels for all these feelings we suppress and repress.
We need love, and more love still.
I am grateful to be in a place where I am so at ease talking about the feminine and the yin. Unapologetically feeling and female. Silent in my determination, to love.
I look over my shoulder and I see old and younger versions of me, so full of joy for the woman I’ve become.
Happy 420am as I write this. I’m sitting crossed legged on the floor with the laptop propped on the edge of my bed. An AI-generated Spotify playlist is playing in the background while I type. On Instagram, I was served an ad with a catchy tune by an American indie band that wrote some songs in Spanish and I got hooked. The playlist was generated from that track.
I’m awake because I slept through the first of February. No regrets, except I’m wondering, what time I should actually nap later or should I just stay awake until early evening tomorrow?
I announced this sabbatical very privately within my work network, but not all my friends know about it yet. I still have access to my work email and can see the different colleagues and clients responding to my goodbye. I had forgotten to cc my personal/work email.
This feeling of “emptiness” that I don’t have to think about a company’s goals as I putter and idle in my house, feels extra luxurious. I still have my other part-time work, but the lightness is incredible. Miraculous.
I look back on the month and so much happened. I haven’t wrapped my head around the happenings of the year, either. I’m poring over my journals and various notebooks. How do the days pass so effortlessly and fleeting ? In August last year, our local indie theatre closed and now, it’s February and they’re opening again. They chose to hit reset, which is what it feels like I’m doing. I intended it to be a mental break, but it’s only my second day and I actually feel the “reset”. A little before my card pull, I started to “feel” and “vibe” certain things. Goosebumps as I went about my day and noticed things.
I feel the alignment and clarity, again.
It’s crazy how we all need to pause, take a step back, in order to feel this present and well in our bodies. Most of us feel shackled and chained like we aren’t allowed to catch our breath or have a moment to ourselves. I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to be.